The Truth About Bobcats

For entertainment purposes only.
— Conspiracy-O-Matic

Do you want to know the truth about bobcats? For 10 years, the Secretary of the Interior has been suppressing information from you about bobcats and thus endangering the welfare of Occultists.

In July 2004, George W. Bush met with Janet Jackson in Evansville, Indiana to discuss abortion. As it happens, they engaged in smoking Cuban cigars and ended up hatching a plan involving the anarchists in England.

As a result, all details of the meeting were suppressed, as was information about dealings with Burger King and their ties to counterfeiting.

A report in The New York Times was mysteriously pulled from newsstands in December of last year. The article implicated high-ranking officials in American Civil Liberties Union, various dentists, and, perhaps not surprisingly, Dan Rather. According to the report, passages in the book "Harry Potter" and lyrics in Garth Brooks 's music point to a connection between these individuals and bobcats.

According to a spokesman at The New York Times, the issue was pulled because of printing errors. However, individuals who saw the original copies say that there were no printing irregularities and that the re-issue differed from the original only in the absence of this article.

The lies and deception must be stopped. Don't let the government hide the facts about bobcats any longer. Learn the truth!